Never Give Up.

May 10, 2012

If you don’t want some drama, stop reading. Forgive me.

I’ve been currently exhausted physically and emotionally with all the burdens that I’m carrying with me everyday. I feel so drained. I’ve been thinking everyday how to get things done accordingly and clean this mess that I’ve caused. I’ve been creating solutions to every problem that I’m dealing with, because I believe that with every problem comes a solution. I work things out how it supposed to be and put all my heart, effort, and sacrifice in it because I believe that it will be worth it in the end. I always keep in mind that God has a better plan for me. I may not realize it for now, but perhaps I will, after a few days or so. Yes, it might be stressful on my part but I want to prove to everyone that I can handle my problems maturely. I can do this. This is just another test from God that I should overcome. I will surpass these trials. Everything works with prayers, hard work, and dedication. Thank you, God for the strength that you’re giving me.

In the middle of the night, I once told a good friend of mine that no one else in this world could ever dictate the decisions that you make – not even your parents. Parents must be a role model to guide and support their children with what their heart desires. Unfortunately, not all parents realize this. Not even mine.

When I was still a senior highschool student in my previous institution, I was struggling with what course to put on the application forms of those schools I’ve applied for college. I definitely know what I want. I just simply want to be a writer, a journalist, and a broadcaster. I’ve always imagined myself writing for a well-known newspaper or delivering the latest news and updates on a famous TV station, and eventually pursue Law after getting a degree in college. One of my parents was definitely hesitant with what I want for myself. He or she told me that pursuing Medicine instead of Journalism or Communications is a better option since getting a degree in those fields and finding a job in line with that is very odd in our country. I told myself, “Hey, why not take a pre-med course instead? Who knows, you might eventually like it in the latter part.” So yes, I did. And guess what? I didn’t like it. I never did. Reading thick books containing hundreds or even thousands of scientific terms and definitions that only Science students will understand does not encourage me to push myself and do better. Solving problems that aren’t applicable to daily situations is never my thing. I find it useless and a waste of time. It’s like a routine. You compute for something that you can’t see nor hear. You can’t think of any applications that you could use that into, unless the professor gives you the formula, which most of the time, they don’t. You need to make an effort and derive the formula that you need. That, does not make me enthusiastic when it comes to my academics.

So, after a year of struggle, I decided to pursue my passion. My passion for writing and reading is what every system of my body craves for. And those people whom I loved? I expect them to respect and understand my decision in every possible way. Unfortunately, expectations lead to disappointments. I wasn’t able to feel the support that I needed from them, and it tore me apart. I firmly accepted every harsh word coming from them. Is this the prize I get from fighting for what I really want to become in the near future? Now, I don’t even think that the saying, “parents know best” is clearly applicable anymore.

We, ourselves, are in control of what lies ahead of us. We are the only ones who are responsible for our own future. Not even people who patiently raise us here on Earth can dictate the role that we will portray in the future. We are destined to live here on Earth because for a purpose: we should always choose to do the things that make us happy. After all, every human being is in pursuit of happiness. And each and every single one of us deserves a good laugh oftentimes.

Vain girl.

April 20, 2012

I feel so wasted, stupid, and ugly today so I decided to fix myself and be vain for the rest of the day! Yay. Forgive me.

Sing You Home.

April 13, 2012

The feeling is absolutely indescribable whenever I finish reading a book, from cover to cover. I always find myself wanting for more as I flip every page of the book. I just recently finish reading Jodi Picoult’s Sing You Home, and it’s really a must read for everyone! It talks about the life of Zoe Baxter, who earns for a living by being a music therapist. She was once happily married to Max Baxter, a surfer and a lawn owner, but his husband of nine years had decided to divorced him for Zoe’s obsession of wanting a baby. As she continued her journey of sharing her passion for music, she became close with Vanessa Shaw, a guidance counselor for kids in a nearby school. Their love eventually blossomed despite having the same gender.

Sing You Home is about love, and how much are you willing to risk just for you and your loved one to be happy. Are you going to be a fighter until the very end just to get what you deserve from the  one who used to love, or are you willing to give up that very special thing that you’ve been wanting for a very long time? It talks about the importance of family, and the people who will be there for you when you need them most. It’s about fighting for your own perspectives and beliefs, even if the society persuades you not to.

Five stars out of five for a fantastic story that aims to bring issues of society in one book.

  • Play an instrument again.
  • Read a lot of fiction novels.
  • Have an out-of-town trip with my family and friends.
  • Lose a lot of weight and achieve that beach body.
  • Go on a shopping spree! 
  • Help my brother motivate himself for college.
  • Prepare myself for a better year as a Sophomore in DLSU.
  • Be productive in my own little ways. 

I just ruined my diet when my dad cooked Tapsilog for us. It was so yummy, I wasn’t able to resist it! We also had Razon’s Halo Halo delivered in our house for merienda. What a delightful treat for summer, I should say. My cravings were definitely satisfied!

Amidst a sunny day.

April 6, 2012

Have you ever felt that strange desire for cold, shivering days? Wherein you only linger for a cup of hot coffee, amidst a busy day, in a Starbucks branch near you? Wherein a captivating smile appears on your glowing face as the wind blows your flowing skirt gracefully? Wherein your want of having someone to cuddle you all day long, becomes a need, then eventually, an obsession?

In the middle of a sunny, 35-degree Celsius day in Manila, Philippines, I am craving for this outrageous desire. I love the feeling of having the time to unwind and relax with a cup of Caffé Mocha and a plate of warm Honey Glazed Doughnut on my table, as I do my school works or review for an upcoming exam. It thrills me as I see students hurriedly open their colorful umbrellas as they rush to enter the gates of Br. Andrew Gonzalez Hall and make their way towards the elevator.  It makes me feel that I’m loved as colleagues offer their jackets or share their umbrellas with me as we spent hours talking about everything in our usual tambayan, SJ Stones. I find it remarkable as students eagerly cover their heads with heavy books as they run along Agno to go to their respective classrooms and patiently attend a boring class — even not minding the heavy drops of rain that they furiously need to encounter.

I will surely miss the Taft life this summer, and the experience that De La Salle has given me as a Frosh student.

For having to survive an institution that follows a trimestral schedule, for sleepless nights of endless studying, for hectic schedules that are packed with numerous school works, for deadlines that have caused us so much stress – Lasallians are indeed those people who make Taft Avenue a worthwhile place to be, despite its busy streets, heavy traffic, and harmful pollution.

I still have two finals to go before I say goodbye to my “frosh” vibes. God Bless everyone.